Foster Care Update

An update on foster care:

Our sweet Meleah is 7 months old today -
She left exactly four weeks ago and I have cried every day.
We all miss her so much.

I did hear from the social worker and will share this quote with you:

"she is the star of her daycare and ..... 
her caregivers there can't seem to put her down"

I am so thankful that she is being loved and cared for 

and that her sweet smile is obviously contagious to all around her.

Thank you for praying for her adjustment to her new life.

The two other girls have been with us for a little over 2 months now.

(they came two days before Christmas, if you missed it)

They are 6 and almost 8; 

Biological siblings of our first foster boy: 

and in school with our boys on base

They pretty much have Mike wrapped around their fingers with

lots of hugs and daddy flips - 

You know the ones - 

doesn't every kid do that thing with their dad?

where he holds your hands and you straddle his waist and flip?

I remember those until 

I was too tall for my head not to hit the floor when I flipped.

(*no smart remarks about my height, or lack-thereof)

Although we thought originally that they would be with us until summer,

their parents have received a new house through a government assistance

program and will be moving soon.  This is a positive step for this family and

a chance to get on their feet.   We hope that everything goes well and that

the judge will acknowledge their efforts.  

In the waiting time - the girls are in need of extreme dental care.

Foster Children are on Medicaid - so we have appointments for them this week

on Tuesday and Wednesday at the Public Health Dental Clinic.

Both girls will undergo general anesthesia for the procedures that they need.

Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that they do well with the anesthesia.

As a mom - I am trying hard not to worry - they have no idea what to expect.

And maybe - doing it all at once is better in the long run.

I know that (at the very least)

they will be super sore for several days.  

Soup 

Jello

Smoothies 

Popsicles 

all on the grocery list for this week....

Thanks to everyone for your continued love and support of this journey!

Processing = progress??

If you are a regular reader of "OOG"
Then you know when the blog gets quite...
I am usually processing.

I'm not good at open honesty -
I grew up with the idea that hurt and sorrow
in the form of tears = weakness

So I turn that hurt and sorrow into anger
and that means I'm tough and strong

It's not exactly a Biblical idea
and the end result is an attitude problem that
pushes away the people that care about me

But to make a long story short -
we are all processing and I think that means progress.

I learned the stages of grief in nursing school -
and I recognize different ones in each of us.
The stages apply to any kind of loss -
not just death.

I have thought often over the last couple of weeks
about hearing people say of death,
"they're in a better place"

I always hated that....
it never seemed comforting to me-
until now.

No one has said that to me -
because we don't have that promise.
Oh how I wish I could have that comfort
knowing that our baby is in a better place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zion has prayed the sweetest words,
thanking God for every day that we had with Meleah.

He has talked about how sad he feels when he finds a little
baby sock stuck to something of his from the laundry.

Isaac has her photo taped to the wall by his bed -
he is processing his own adoption in a different way
through all of this.  He has asked lots of questions that
I have answered honestly, with as much information as I have
about his own birth family.

Michael is our quiet one -
but he journals a lot.
I don't sneak into his private thoughts....
but when I see him writing in his book,
I know it's a healthy way of coping for him.

Of course, the Navy doesn't give any kind of time off for something like this.
So Mike is back to work, in fact, he had to go back in the afternoon that
Meleah left.    In some ways, I am jealous of his busy schedule.

I feel like the days are the hardest for me -
When everyone leaves for school and work
and it would normally be just me and Meleah.

There are moments when I find things -

changing our bed sheets....

in the laundry.....

going through piles of papers that have been sitting far too long

These things,
take me by surprise.

I find myself gasping for air

air that seems too thick to breathe

and I am not sure I can suck in enough oxygen to live through the next breath.


But then there are times when,
I think I can't do it
and the next breath of air is
clean,
and pure
and sweet,
....it must be a breath of heaven.

I know that Jesus is wrapping his arms around me
taking my pain for me.

For that I am so grateful.

There have also been things that people have written to us
that have touched us - thank you all for your sweet words
of encouragement, love and support.

We have also received flowers, chocolates and margaritas....
all appreciated.

Getting back out on the road, (regularly) is my therapy goal.

I usually listen to club style music when I run.
It keeps my feet moving.

But in an effort to try and understand -
I switched my running playlist to praise and worship music
and just hit "shuffle" over the last two week.

Several songs have spoken directly to my heart.
Some have me running down the street with tears streaming -
but I keep running....

my feet pounding the road


and my heart,
pounding my chest.

One song that keeps coming back is by Mandisa.

Even when there is so much we don't understand,
we know that having Meleah for 6 months
changed our lives;
and showed us
in the form of a baby,
God loves us.

Thanks again to everyone for your outpouring of love, support and prayers.
We are so grateful for the awesome people that God has surrounded us with.

Don't stop praying -  
remember our baby girl
I wish she could understand that we didn't leave her...
that we love her
we miss her
we still want her

Saying good-bye......life goes on.

Disclaimer:
If you have never seen Steel Magnolias, you need to stop reading 
and go rent it, or Hulu it, or something....otherwise, this post won't
be the same.

Disclaimer #2: 
If you have seen Steel Magnolias and don't understand why it is one
of the greatest movies of all time - stop reading also.  
I can no longer be your friend because your emotional compass is whack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moving forward:

I would like to tell you that Meleah's last day with us
was a fabulous day of high quality family time.

But
Life.
Goes.
On.

It was a Monday -
the kids had school.
Mike had work.
and I had the huge weekend pile of laundry.

In a lot of ways, the morning was just like any other.

Mia, (the dog) was in her usual spot for Meleah's morning nap.

Mike came home and stayed with Meleah.
I went to pick up the kids at lunch time.

We drove through McDonald's for Happy Meals.

It didn't work.

No one was happy.

We couldn't even eat our fries...
as soon as we were all at the table together,
the tears started.

We cried the ugly cry,
as my friend Heather calls it.
The kind from Steel Magnolias -
the kind where you aren't sure if you should fall in a heap,
or try to pull it together in case you really can die from a broken heart.

When the social worker came - we closed the door on her and pulled it together,

well,
sort-of

The social worker was not well received.

We passed Meleah around several times for hugs and kisses.

We watched the car drive away and cried some more.

Later in the afternoon - Michael had to be back at school for the basketball game.

Life
goes
on

It would have been great if they won -
something positive about this day,
but they lost their first game of the season,
at home.

This day sucked.

Meleah - 6 months old

I just had to share these adorable videos of Meleah's new favorite game.

Peek-a-boo


We were at Isaac's eye appt.
(*hence the background conversations)
And she just started grabbing her blanket and putting it over her face.  

If you don't think this baby is completely adorable, I can't be your friend.
(*just sayin')

6 month old photo shoot -

We have loved being her parents for the last 6 months
and wish with all our hearts that we could be her parents
forever.

Sometimes the system just doesn't work that way.

To make a long story short - 

Meleah leaves us on Monday the 30th.

I wish she could understand that we haven't left her,

it breaks my heart that everything in her life will be 

new

different 

strange 

unfamiliar

Please pray for her adjustment to the new people in her life.

THANK YOU!

Foster Care update

It's been four weeks today since our family became the "Brady Bunch".

3 boys, 3 girls - and only 2 of the 6 with the same genetics.

We have three different nationalities represented
and at least that many shades of skin.

It is AWESOME!

My life is crazy / busy and the dishes and laundry are NEVER done -
but everyone is happy and mostly healthy
and we are rolling with the punches when they come.

We were able to get approval from the judge and the district to put the
girls in school with our boys at the Department of Defense School,
McCool Elementary/Middle on base.
They are in first and second grades and adjusting well to the first week.

Life is easier with everyone
in the same place,
on the same bus,
on the same schedule.

The girls got to visit their parents last weekend and that really helped lift their spirits.
We have also visited with their brother who was our first foster child last spring.
Please pray for this family to  get all their things in order to have their family together.

Meleah continues to be a love.
She is rolling over both ways and has discovered her feet.
They are her favorite thing to play with.
Babies make it look so easy to get your foot to your head don't they??

Here are some special pictures for MawMaw and Papa Jack in Michigan.

Her first baby doll from MawMaw

Go BLUE!  from Papa Jack

The next court date for Meleah is Tuesday, the 24th.

Although we aren't sure, we assume that all the paperwork is in order,

and the judge will order that custody be shifted from foster parents to

the grandparent.   We thank you all for your love, support and prayers.

We ask that you pray for her still,

that she will grow to be a strong woman of God

and that HIS hand will follow her for all of her days.

And that one day, we will see her again.

Meleah - 5 months

We have been so blessed to have this little angel in our home for the last five months.

She is rolling over - tummy to back
eating a little food
taking baths in the tub,
(instead of the sink!)

weighs almost 15 lbs

wears 6-9 month clothes

gets up once in the night for a bottle

takes super, short power naps during the day

has the nickname of Smiley Cat
(from her Halloween kitty costume)

so happy and smiley
                                                                                    so loved and lovable!!

First airplane ride - Saipan - Thanksgiving 2011

Chil-laxin' by the pool

Taking a dip 

First time in the ocean - yeah, she's got rolls!!

And we were thrilled to be a part of her first Christmas.

Special stocking handmade by Nanny in Michigan

Christmas jammies!

Sadly, however, we are not going to be able to adopt her -
and she will go to live with grandparents after the next court hearing on Jan. 24th
(*provided all their paperwork is in order)


We aren't going to pretend that everything is alright.
We are going to cry our eyes out (more than we already have)
and miss her dearly.

But we are going to do our best to focus on
and be thankful for the time we had,
not the time that we don't.

Thank you all so much for loving her and including her in your prayers.
For your love and support of our decision to be foster parents.
Please continue to pray for us as our journey continues.

Meleah - 4 months

Meleah will turn 4 months old while we are in Saipan.

She continues to be a joy and a blessing to our family.

She is almost rolling over.

All smiles and giggles when she sees a family member.

A little separation anxiety if a stranger tries to take her from her comfort zone.

Sleeping and napping mostly on schedule with one bottle between 3 and 4am.

Here are some photos of month four!

First Halloween

Zion keeping her happy in the van!

Tummy Time!

baby push-ups!

Church time

little IV - First trip to the ER    :(   

First trip to the beach
 GabGab - 11-11-11

Still sleeping like this....adorable!

Meleah - 3 months

The little princess is 3 months old today.

Yes, she sleeps in the bed with us
But the boys don't
So I know it won't last forever
I love every minute

Did I mention that we are all in love?

I think I might have.

She is doing well.

She laughed for the first time this week.

She is almost out of 0-3 months clothes and into 3-6.

I also bought a pack of size "2" diapers this week.

She is a very happy baby
and still trying to suck her thumb / hand / fingers.

Sometimes she will hook her finger on the paci and pull it out to suck on her hand.

Everything she does - we think is adorable.

Here are some photos from the last month.

Mike Thornton has never been so smitten in his life.

Isaac and Meleah

healthy thighs

She still sleeps with her hands up like this....so cute!

at church in her dress from another Melia  ...(Yamodis!)

Big smiles!

Meleah - one month old

Meleah,

Today you have been with our family for  little over 4 weeks.
It doesn't seem like a long time in some ways,
but you have changed so much.

You have gained almost 2 1/2 pounds and you now look like a baby
(*complete with chubby cheeks)
instead of a wiry newborn.

You have captured our hearts and we love you so much.

I have had the name Meleah Elizabeth picked out for my little girl for over 18 years,
so when you came to our family without a name, 
it seemed natural to call you Meleah.

Your brothers love you and have tons of nicknames for you.

Zion's proclamation that you are
"the Queen of Cuteness and Sweetness"
seems to be the title that has stuck.

They like to hold you and give you a bottle.

They talk to you in the sweetest little voices.

For me,
It feels like you have been in my heart for such a long time,
but I am just now getting to meet you.

No matter what the future holds for you - you will always be in my heart.

I love you little girl !

Meleah - 4 days old - July 31st

6 days old - August 2nd

August 27th - one month

One of our favorite poses of you -
You almost always sleep with your hands up like this.
We all think it's adorable,
and we say that you are Praising the Lord!
He is worthy of all our praise!